Just Like That

There are certain people that can take not being in control; I’m not one of them. When I was at the height of my Oxy addiction, the true source of my aggression was the inkling that I wasn’t in control of my life. I took that out on everything and everyone close to me. People talk about mood-swings and erratic behavior as psychological symptoms of addiction; but I’m convinced that it’s just the addict getting frustrated that they can’t stop. I’m probably wrong, but I can only speak from experience. Either way, these pills did more far more damage than good.

In 2009, I was a father of three and a successful business owner loved by his wife and kids. I never wanted to be anything else than a father and provider and I counted my blessings every day that I was able to do both very well. On a hiking trip with my kids, I fell from a weak tree branch, cracking three of my ribs and breaking my shoulder. The pain was excruciating and alleviated only by oxycodone, which my doctor was quick to provide. I took them throughout the course of injuries and as they healed, I never bothered to even try and wean myself off of them, assuming that I could just give them up when I needed to.

The months went on and my injuries healed; but I was still finding excuses to take these pills. I grew more and more dependent and put my family through the worst nightmare of our collective lives. I even started resenting my kids and blamed them for wanting to go hiking and putting me in this situation. My wife was threatening to leave and my business was rapidly declining—this was my rock-bottom. The night before I went into treatment, I asked myself where it all went wrong and how I allowed myself to forfeit my life to pain pill addiction—I never came up with answer.

At first I thought treatment was a joke and was actually upset that I was giving these people money to placate me while denying me pills; but the longer I stayed, the more I could feel myself reverting back to the father and person I always wanted to be; the one I was before pain pills took over my life. By the time I left, I felt like I got a part of myself back that I had temporarily pawned for pills. The first thing I did, was apologize to my kids for every making them feel as though they had anything to do with their father’s addiction.

I’ve worked very hard to regain my family’s trust and restore legitimacy to my business. I know that only time and effort can repair what I broke, which is what’s kept me relapse-free since I left treatment. If you have the right motivations and you’re doing things for the right reasons, it’s remarkable what you can accomplish. 

Contact the National Information Center for Pain Medication Addiction anytime toll-free at (855) 222-1980 or through our online form, and receive the answers, information or our recommendation for the help you or your loved one need to stop their pain medication addiction!

Get back the quality of life and level of dignity that is only possible when you or your loved one are no longer addicted to pain medication drugs . . . regardless of whether they were obtained legally or illegally.