Tranquilizer Abuse: Ativan

When I finally became fed up enough with my own insomnia and general anxiety, I saw a doctor asking for a quick fix to help me out.  After hearing my story, he prescribed me something called Ativan that was to be taken as needed to keep me emotionally stable and sleep regulated.  I was told to abstain from alcohol while taking the drug but remained skeptical since I previously had success using alcohol for self-medicating and a relaxing sleep aid.  I began enjoying the relief of Ativan's effects almost immediately, but within even a couple weeks began feeling the drug rapidly loose its effectiveness.  To my surprise, I found out that alcohol, the very thing my doctor had warned me about, acted as a boosting agent to revive the effectiveness of the Ativan.  At that time I began combining both substances in a moderate manner, just a pill and a J&B on the rocks or so to achieve the ideal affect. 

Sure enough, as my tolerance grew my intake of Ativan and alcohol also began to escalate.  If I was out of or short on one substance, I would overcompensate with more of the other. The day after a night of heavy Ativan abuse and drinking I became irritable and found myself increasingly unable to bear the feeling of going a day without Ativan (my new best friend).  It was obviously withdrawal setting in but even still, I took whatever means necessary to prevent that sickening and depressed feeling and to regain some of that euphoric carefree buzz I was chasing.  The very drug I started taking to increase my comfort and capability in the world eventually became the epicenter of my life all together.  The funny part was that no one at the time seemed to notice the large amount of these pills and booze I was operating on every single day.  Even though I was becoming a no-show at regular family and friend events, I felt my work performance was still optimal and was lured into a false sense of security because of my Ativan drug abuse.
In addition to my Ativan tranquilizer abuse I also started experimenting with other benzos and muscle relaxants that I obtained illegally.  By this point I definitely had developed a serious prescription drug addiction.  My job, my girlfriend, my social life and even my cat all now came in second to my ever-growing prescription drug addiction.  In time my addiction ultimately cost me to lose all of my previous relationships in my life.  (To all you animal lovers out there I didn't let the cat die; I just traded it for more drugs. I'm kidding; my parents took her in their loving home.)  But now as I was without a job or any real means of financial income and totally wallowing in my own self-pity by taking more benzos and booze than ever before, my family and friends hit me with an intervention.  Maybe it was my weakened emotional state willing to cling to anything for help but I agreed to go for help at a Florida treatment center that specialized in prescription drug addiction treatment. 
Today I am so glad that I agreed to go for prescription drug addiction treatment.  I am so grateful to my family who held the intervention for me and made the arrangements for me to get the help I needed.  Frankly in the state I was in, only an intervention could get through to me.  I often shudder to think where I would be without that intervention, surely going nowhere fast and possibly even homeless or dead.  Thank you to my family, friends, and the professionals that presented me a choice in my darkest hour to accept help and take back control of my life again.

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